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Mentally Undressed

“Tom Holland” nude shower selfie

Naked Tom Holland just out of the shower showing off his hard uncut cock (fake)

Some people desperately want this Tom Holland shower selfie to be real. It certainly got my spidey-senses tingling. Slender muscle-twink build. Ginger complexion. Uncut cock. Seems legit! Sadly, no. Ah, well… It’s not like anyone had a better change of having the Spider-Man star shoot his ropy webs all over your face if it was real. 🕸

photo source: @tom_spideyboy

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Some Tom Holland ginger spice

Full frontal nude of uncut ginger twink Tom Holland (fake)

Grrrrrrrr! That Billy Idol snarl! Now that Avengers: Endgame is out, Tom Holland is back. And your friendly neighborhood Spider-Twink is feeling much better now, thanks. You can find more male celeb fantasy nudes over here.

photo source: @twfakes

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Chris Hemsworth shirt-cocking it

Shirt-cocking Chris Hemsworth (fake)

Chris Hemsworth is a bottomless possible bottom(?) — and hard as a rock in this fantastic fake.

photo source: twfakes

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Happy Birthday James Van Der Beek!

James Van Der Beek in a tank top & suspenders.

James Van Der Beek (or JVDB as we like to call him) turns 42 today… and we want to know, does that make him a Daddy? Is the former teen heartthrob now a Daddy? Based on some of these photos he sure looks like it.

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Mentally undress Charlie Hunnam

Charlie Hunnam full frontal bathroom selfie (fake)

So here’s a fake but not inaccurate Charlie Hunnam full frontal fantasy — assuming we can take him at his word.

“Sloan brought up how King Arthur director Guy Ritchie is known for giving the characters in his films unique nicknames dating all the way back to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Sloan then tells Hunnam how he has come up with a random generator to give yourself a Guy Ritchie nickname.

‘You take a unique physical characteristic to you, plus the first name of your dad,’ Sloan instructs the actor.

‘I’d be 12-inch c*ck Billy,’ Hunnam answers without barely pausing to think.

‘Yeah, I heard that,’ Sloan replies, as the two start laughing from his NSFW answer.” — NewNowNext

Of course, the real Charlie Hunnam has done plenty of nude scenes. And you can see them all by going here!

photo source: @twfakes; via @Gaystring2

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Mentally undress Nick Jonas

Nick Jonas gripping his stiff cock (fake)

If only… Priyanka Chopra, the new Mrs. Nick Jonas, is a lucky girl regardless.

photo source: @discoqueen1970

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Mentally undress Henry Cavill

Henry Cavill full frontal nude with boner (fake)

Have you seen Henry Cavill in Mission Impossible: Fallout? As you watched him mean-mug his way through bathroom fights and helicopter chases, did you find yourself wanting him to wreck your every orifice with his meat of steel? If so, this full frontal fantasy of the mustachioed muscleman should make it easier to imagine as you rub your nub. This fake is actually more believable than his weird Justice League mouth.

photo source: @dicksxxxballs

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Chris Pine’s penis is of interest

A full frontal Chris Pine fake nude (actually Paddy O'Brian's body)

In a move that will surely stiffen the competition amongst the Hollywood Chrises, Star Trek and Wonder Woman star Chris Pine — who is not Captain America, Thor nor Starlord — has an existential full frontal nude scene in the upcoming November Netflix feature The Outlaw King. But don’t worry. It’s not gratuitous. The plot required it. I guess we won’t have to mentally undress him for very long, because he’s about to show us the real thing. Watch Chris talk about his interesting penis after the jump…

photo source: ExcellentMen

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Tom Holland full frontal fantasy

Tom Holland nude centerfold pose (fake)

In Spider-Man: Homecoming, when Peter Parker told Tony Stark he was 15-years-old, did you die a little on the inside — and feel all gross and pervy? Well, relax, because it’s Tom Holland‘s birthday, and he just turned 22 today. He’s been legal the whole time, so you’re only guilty of a sex thought crime if all those shirtless scenes made your Spidey sense tingle.

I pride myself on knowing these things. The male celeb fantasist who made this fake body snatched Allen King this time instead of Johnny Rapid.

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Mentally undress Tom Holland

Tom Holland S&M nude (fake))

With great power cums great responsibility. Tom Holland gives web slinging a whole new meaning in this S&M fantasy. I guess when some people mentally undress the Spider-Man star, they always see Johnny Rapid’s naked body. The Men.com exclusive’s butt shot comes from that time when Johnny got a blowjob from Jimmy Fanz on a giant spiderweb made of chains.

photo source: Gay Comic Geek; via Men.com

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Mentally undress Darren Criss

Darren Criss full frontal nude (fake) with big beautiful cock and sexy sidebutt

So I gave a hard pass to The Assassination of Gianni Versace because I’m totally burned out on gay narratives about death and dysfunction. But naked Darren Criss is always fun, right? Even if it’s just a fantasy. BTW, that lovely otter bod and magnificent cock actually belong to retired gay porn star Tommy Defendi.

photo source: Gay Famous Fakes

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Hot shot — Deadpool ❤ Spider-Man

Now that Disney owns Fox this Ryan Reynolds vs. Tom Holland fantasy might be closer to reality than ever before. Okay maybe not the fucking part, but the Spider-Man/Deadpool team-up part! You know Deadpool, who is canonically bisexual, would be all up in Spider-Twink’s business. Just as soon as Peter turns 18, of course.

BTW, those nude bodies were borrowed from porn superstars Johnny Rapid and Paddy O’Brian.

photo source: Fakengay

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Hot shot — Avengers Ass-emble!

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) fucking Captain America (Chris Evans)

Captain America bending over and getting hammered by Thor. An obvious fake. Because we all know Cap would never cheat on Bucky.

photo source: Fakengay

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Mentally undress Jamie Dornan

Jamie Dornan's visible penis line?

Jamie Dornan broke the internet by releasing a photo of himself with what appears to be a throbbing, rock-hard boner in his tight pants. The photo was meant to promote tourism to his home country Northern Ireland. Maybe the picture accomplishes this goal, but probably not in the way the creative team at Discover Northern Ireland intended.

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Mentally undress Jake Gyllenhaal

Full frontal fake nude of actor Jake Gyllenhaal.

An above average Jake fake.

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Mentally undress Ewan McGregor

Full frontal fake nude of actor Ewan McGregor with an erection.

Funny, I didn’t know Ewan McGregor was Jewish. (j/k) This is a fairly convincing fake, but it has one gynormous tell. Ewan has a world famous penis, and we all know he’s uncircumcised. (You can see for yourself by clicking here!) His erection was borrowed from these Colby Keller glamour shots.

photo source: HANDYGLANS

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James Franco fantasy face fuck

Creative animated gif of James Franco getting a gay blowjob.

Maybe you’ve seen James Franco‘s simulated, but still graphic gay blowjob scene from The Broken Tower. Well, here’s another creative fake showing the queer baiting (or is he genuinely bi-curious) gay porn dabbler getting serviced.

photo source: ExcellentMen

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Mentally undress Nick Jonas

Full frontal fake naked photo of Nick Jonas.

A fantastically fappable full frontal fantasy nude. The queer-baiting prick tease Nick Jonas as you can only imagine.

photo credit: TheHasCocksBlog

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The Spy (Uncut) dick pic scene

Julian Miller puts the uncut in Spy (Uncut) as a horny henchman who tests his surveillance equipment by taking some dick pics. OK, so it’s a prosthetic penis, but they had me going there for a second.

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Mentally undress Matt Bomer

Matt Bomer nearly full frontal nude (fake)

A creative fake of Magic Mike (plus its XXL sequel) and American Horror Story star Matt Bomer showing a hint of cock root as he’s stripping for cash money.

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Joe Manganiello & the penis pump

It’s that scene from Magic Mike where Joe Manganiello fluffs his cock with a penis pump before going onstage. Of course, we all know this shot is basically a special effect. I like to think it’s fake but accurate.

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Chris Hemsworth’s Vacation VPL

Chris Hemsworth's sexy underwear scene, showing VPL

Chris Hemsworth's sexy underwear scene, showing VPL

Chris Hemsworth's sexy underwear scene, showing VPL

Chris Hemsworth's sexy underwear scene, showing VPL

You want him to put the hammer down? I’m sure we all know these sexy shots of Chris Hemsworth in boxer briefs showing an epic VPL is a special effect made with a prosthetic penis, but we can pretend, can’t we? Watch Hemsworth’s buzzworthy appearance from the red band trailer for the upcoming Vacation sequel after the jump…

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Jared Padalecki’s naked workout

Jared Padalecki nude (fake)

Imagine Jared Padalecki’s cock getting rock hard after he gets his blood pumping during a nude workout. Body borrowed from Sean Cody hunk Jeremy.

photo source: Chikko Doce, via Sean Cody

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Mentally undress Chris Evans

A hot fake full frontal nude of Chris Evans!

A full frontal fantasy nude of Chris Evans. While I’m sure Evans must be cut, circumcision didn’t become prevalent in the U.S. until the 1960s, which means Captain America is probably uncut.

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